"Just because I have a disability doesn’t mean that I’m disabled."
These kind of posts seem to be the harder ones to write. Not due to any particular depth or grittiness, but due to the shear lacking of inspiration. I’ve written about being uninspired before on the blog. For me, it seems to come in cycles. Inspiration is like riding a rollercoaster. The trek to the top can be long, arduous, and emotionally crippling at times. Your heart feels heavy. The world close and boxed in. As creators, what we crave more than anything is the mental sense of falling. The moment when you’re looking over the edge of the coaster, the drop just inches from your seat. Time slows down as your mind races to comprehend the situation. And just as the thoughts trickle in, you drop. A crescendo of sensations come racing up. Speeding downwards, the winds of inspiration ripple back across your face as every known emotion comes flutter up like a cage of butterflies just released. This sensation is how inspiration feels. What seems to be the only problem is that I’m terrified of rollercoasters.
So, it’s been a while since we chatted last. A lot has been happening on my side of life. For one thing, I started my junior year of college this past week! I have officially moved on from junior college and have stepped foot into real-world university. Being on campus has been interesting. From starting classes, meeting new people, and tirelessly balancing school work and social life, it’s been an exhausting first week. Monday came with an endless plethora of syllabi, an avalanche of assignments, and even talks of final exams. Besides classes, I challenged myself to become more socially involved while studying these next two years.
I would describe myself as an extrovert trapped in the body of an introvert. I love being social, meeting new people, and making connections, but the thought of getting out of that comfort zone gives me a lot of anxiety. While joining clubs and organizations is new and exciting, the fear of stuttering while introducing myself keeps me up at night. Some of that may stem from my disability, my stuttering, or maybe I’m like this genetically. Whatever the case may be, I know that I don’t want to live my life in fear because of something like a stutter. I know that if I’m going to be happy with myself, I have to push my comfort zone outward. Even just setting small goals every day like saying ‘hi’ to a new classmate or complimenting someone’s shirt in the lunch line. Creating ‘little victories’ for myself will set me up for the big challenges and victories later on.
When writing this, this phrase hit me:
Just because I have a disability doesn’t mean that I’m disabled.
…Does that make sense?
That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t want to stay in on Sunday night, cook some food, and watch Netflix. I have an issue when I’m choosing to stay in out of fear of other people’s opinions of a thing I sometimes can’t physically control. Because at the end of the day, it’s not their battle. I’m in this place because I have worked hours and hours to achieve it. I have learned a lot, good and bad, from stuttering. It has made me more aware of words and the meaning behind them. Am I perfect? Of course not. Do I have perfect days all day every day? No. It’s the fact that I’m choosing to speak out. It's my choice to be heard, fluent or not. And that my friend is half the battle.
Let’s talk about yogurt shall we? I never knew that Walmart sold chia seeds. While strolling down the health food aisle, nestled in between the arrowroot and gluten-free bread, sat the chia seeds. For less than a dollar, I knew I had to try some. I’m not typically the health food junkie that obsessives about whole grains and carbohydrates. I see all my favorite food bloggers using chia in a variety of ways, so I thought I would give it a shot. You may have noticed that some of the pictures stylings are a bit different. That’s because the first batch of bananas didn’t turn out the way I was hoping, and I forgot to add granola! So here’s to new beginnings, taking time for yourself, and remembering to add granola before you shoot.
- 2 bananas, sliced
- ¼ cup olive oil
- 1 tablespoon honey, plus more for drizzling
- 1 tablespoon water
- ½ teaspoon cardamom
- Dash of cinnamon
- 10 oz. Plain yogurt
- ½ teaspoon Chia
- 2 crunchy granola bars, chopped
- Lightly drizzle olive oil into a skillet over medium heat. Once the oil is heated, arrange the banana slices in the pan and cook for 1-2 minutes on both sides, or until golden brown on both sides.
- In a small bowl, whisk together the honey, brown sugar, and water. Once the bananas are seared, remove the pan from the heat and pour the honey + brown sugar mixture over the bananas. Allow to cool completely before sprinkling with a touch of cinnamon.
- To Assemble. In a small bowl, add the plain yogurt. Top with sweetened bananas, drizzle with honey and sprinkle the chia seeds over all. Top with chopped granola. Serve immediately.